Deep Thoughts

i am beginning to have a very deep thought abt this. somehow i find ky thinkin on some points, right, while on some points wrong.

he reminds me deeply of the me in sec 3 and 2. very very alike.

Why do we so hard for? why do we have to slog it out? thats wat he says.

actually, from the beginning, there has to be a reason why we joined. the reason of friends, are not the main reason. friends are perhaps a very important reason after we joined, but somehow, most of the times, we are misguided and tend to forget our main reason in joining.

for me, i joined because of my wish. since primary 3 that incident, i always pictured myself as a future instructor. and i did.

now, my reason for staying is further motivated. i openly admit tat i don't like the system. but can i do anything abt it? no. Singapore is said to be a state of "freedom of speech" , but those are just for presentation purposes. only when u get authority, then u will have the key to locked doors. of cos now, i don have the power. i don have the authority. but every story has a beginning and an ending. in the starting, i would have to work hard, do sai gang. why? is because, i will eventually rise through the ranks, voice my opinions, and finally make decisions. for the future, i will work hard. i won't let my desire and ambition down.

I know his most important factor in bringing him down is his recent incident with -- (for privacy, shall not disclose name). i know it hurts alot. i been through it to. often, the beginning is the most piercing period. you will start to get swayed by your emotions easily, and everything just affects you. my advice was to give himself a month or 2, he hasn't understood, what "some time" means. i can't blame him. i was like tat in sec 2.

wj and me were good friends back then in sec 2. everyday play and talk with each other. until one day. the emails she used to be sending, suddenly disappeared. the msn conversation we had dissipated. we see each other online. but never opened a msn window to chat with one another. even to ask questions. in school, we avoid one another.

if u tink that is very hurting enough, what about this thing, going on for 7 months?
yes, only after 7mths, then she sent a forwarded mail to me. and we are friends again. although won't be that close, but at least, hey. we are friends!

so ky, if you are reading this, i understand that it is a very painful period for u. but. HOLD ON. don't fall off the ship. cos if u fall, it will be a long time before u can reach the shore..

ky, you must pull through. no matter what, everyday is an obstacle for us. its just part and parcel of the learning journey. we learn everyday.

if u have nobody to turn to, then i would say that its not true. i don't like people saying that. its ok if u say the person you want to turn to is unavailable. but hey. ur friends are here! so don't ever say, nobody to turn to.

i admit, that i don turn to anybody. but neither will i say i have nobody to turn to. i could relate to my friends easily. but i don't want to. i turn to my basketball and bike.

so ya. all the best. its not going to be easy, but learn, and be strong, bro.

a quote from yc's friendster last time
" life is fair, its only that some people fail to see what they have gained from their losses."

i find this line super true and motivational. afterall.. we are not always losing. we are gaining something at the same time...


y h


today is 4th march.. submitted my jae.. 11 more days. i don't seem to be bothered. after all.. its just another day in my life.. however hard it is to brighten the dim lights around me nowadays, i will not give up. hope and faith will pay through