1. I am an emotional person, so its normal for me to shed tears and feel sad.
2. I am very fun loving, i like to crack lame jokes not for the fun of it, but it is to entertain my friends
3. I don mind being a person to be suaned and teased, used as an object of humiliation (just don be too overboard), if your purpose to do so can entertain others in the meantime
4. I cannot be the crappy me as always, i do get moody at times, sometimes, while i say i do not need company, what i need most is somebody who can talk to me
5. I don't always need guidance or sweet talk, sometimes i would prefer ppl treat me as a ordinary guy, and just knocks some sense into me when i indulge in self pity
6. There are somethings about me that only close friends of mine will understand, so don't expect yourself to keep saying " i understand " doing so will only stab me more and make me feel like i am being pitied.
7. I do have my own pride at times, sometimes i do like to over express myself. When that happens, kindly tell me off and i will watch myself.
8. I am not a vocal person, i don express myself well, thats why i am typing all these out. So don get the wrong idea when i don't reply to u or say sorry, or simply shut my mouth.
9. Some days i just wwant to be alone, and not to be bothered. i also get jealous at times, but don't mind me, don't talk to me at those times, if not i will feel more hurt.
10. Lastly, there are somethings i will never be able to answer when u all ask me. Because i can only open up to my close friends. And do allow me time to change. Its the way i am, and i am the person i am. If you see something wrong in me, don expect me to change immediately.

Sometimes, i do get scolded for wrong reasons, or rather reasoned out for the wrong things.. i feel damm hurt when that happens.

for those who dint know. If u all did go for VIP camp, what u saw of me was a shadow of my past.

i shall just state some facts abt my life.

Before VIP, there was this leadership camp called ULC.

Right from the very second i was Camp I/C, i got lamented and scolded.

I made all the instructors faces turned black, except for two instructors, huda ma'am and chee keong sir. But i knew that they were disappointed with me.

I had earlier been appointed as vice chairperson for TKRCY. Yet, i did not have leadership qualities. I was very disappointed then. But chee keong sir told me on the night before camp broke. he told me, cheer up.

after the camp, and POC, i went to call my special friend. even yee long has abandoned me. thats wat i thought last time.

" hai. i know it, i cannot blame yl. even him, he is so outstanding, of cos can celebrate. me? ..."

i cried heavily after that phone call with my special friend.. and i just went to esplanade.

that was my first time to esplanade. and it was on a sad occasion.

BUT what i want u all to know is not this, but the change that i have made. who could have believed that it was me in VIP they saw.

ok i tell u all a more startling fact.

Before sec 2 December, the only people i played or interact with was with my block neighbours.

Before sec 4, the only people i had went out with was my CCA friends.

The first movie i watched with my friends was in sec 3 mid june. the movies i watched with my friends before o levels was less than 5.

The first time i went to tampines mall alone for fun was in sec 3.

The first time i went out with friends to shopping mall was in sec 3.

The first time i went to Bugis was in sec 3.

The first time i initiated a conversation with a girl (msn, or real life) was in sec 2.

The first time i used Gel was in sec 3. (LOL this is crap la)

The first time i went out with a girl alone was in sec 3, and it was the girl who asked me out(oops!)

The first time i dared to ask a girl out was in sec 3 november? (LOL this is also crap)

Basically i am a non social freak.

so, its common and justifiable (what i think la) that i get over expressive in conversations or outings.

you all may say i have a children mindset, i don deny, for this is created by the environment i was raised in, the fun u all had in sec sch life, i am just starting to experience it now.

My childhood also led to this. But i don feel like talking abt my childhood now.

So if anyone of u all had questions to ask me why i am so like this, like tat, its because of this reason.

And i am asking for a chance to change.

Change is constant afterall.

what point i want to make is that, if i can make such a change in such a short time from ulc to vip, i am certain that i can change too for the better.

so please don always blame me for this/that.

i hope i am clear enough

y h