pardon me

just after bloggin, i restarted computer.. and i just got temptation to blog. haha.

sch has been ongoing for 4 weeks.. yet the feeling is not there.. sure my classmates from all the classes are friendly.. especially.. mervin, jeremy, cheryl, lois, aini.

but.

the feeling just isnt there..

i only talk to them when i see them, and its abt sch stuff..

perhaps it takes time.. but.

still. my secondary sch mates, red cross mates, .. i am so comfortable with them that i opened up to them everytime.. i will be my true self whenever i am with them..

right now. none of the ppl in tp (other than hafizah) knows my blog. and to me. my blog address is only given out when i really can accept the person to read, and i am really open with them.

right now, none of the ppl i know shares the same type of warmth with me..

take today.. i was really upset abt something i did subconciously.. i wasn even aware.. yet i got this line

" why you not going home? are you waiting for us? "
" er.. no. just watching. "

" ok, i 'll shut up. "
" not only tat, i want u to get lost instead. "

though this stuff could be said out of impulse, or of the heat, or a joke.. i am truly not the type of person who can stand it.

outside i am a hard shell. u hit me for all u want. but inside i am real soft. i am a damm emotional guy i admit. a snag. watever. i do wat normal guys don do. i appreciate emo songs more than pop or rock. i share the same thinking tat the show ah hock has. for 1 yr plus, i brought her out to movies, and almost all the times, its just at starbucks. never held her hand, ... but still i thought of her to be my gal. in the end, out of nowwhere.. she suddenly has a boyfriend.

hai. i gt to break out sometime by typing.. cos now without basketball... or cycling.. i can only write.

haha.

anyway.

i do think tat my sch has a unique way of orientation 4 weeks ago.. we were grped according to different courses.. while most schs is same course.. this has really emabled me to know lots of ppl.. in such a short time... i think our bonding is really good. as in, the seniors will take care of juniors.. and the cleaners will even dance with u! however. i am not at a stage of opening up yet.

maybe sooon..

y h